When I started therapy back in March, my therapist immediately recommended I attend Codependents Anonymous meetings. She said that I was a person who depended too much on receiving love from people who don't treat me right. I allow people to hurt me and mistreat me and I go running right back to them. I offer help when they don't deserve it and I ignore my values and morals just to please them. I was shocked! I have been to many therapist and none of them had an immediate suggestion or clue as to what was wrong with me. They mostly just listened to me. Let me ramble and complain for one hour without offering up any guidance. Nope, I am wrong, one offered breathing exercises.
CoDA is a recover program similar to AA, where you follow twelve steps and learn what your codepencies are and how to work through them for change and better relationships.
After nine months of occasionally catching a phone meeting, I tried a zoom meeting in a different time zone. One where I can show my face and not worry about someone in my area seeing me and at a time when my kids are in bed and I can speak freely. This was the best thing I have ever done. I put myself out there and started a group to work the steps together.
Today I finally completed the first question in step one and I discovered that I am controlling. I try to step in to often to prevent situations from occurring. I expect behaviors from people and I have used manipulation in my relationship to find peace in my relationship, and these are considered a codepency characteristic.
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